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| AUTHOR |
MESSAGE |
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absix
40 / male
Web Naughty
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cop humor
"Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out
after you wear them awhile."
"If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a
worthless document."
"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
"Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't know,
that is the average speed of a 9 mm bullet fired from my gun."
"So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can
write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
"Yes Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will
help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"
"Warning? You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that
again or I'll give you another ticket."
"The answer to this question will determine whether or not you're drunk:
Was Mickey Mouse a dog or a cat?"
"Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to
ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey poop."
"Just how big were those two beers?"
"No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."
"I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."
"You didn't think we gave pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."
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| September 9, 2004, 06:46 |
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bear
63 / male
OHIO, Ohio, US
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Re: cop humor
how about
Sir, have you been drinking, your eyes are blood shot. No officer, have you been eating donuts, your eyes are glazed 
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| September 9, 2004, 07:00 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: cop humor
Where I live, there isn't any cop humor, although there are a few decent and law biding ones for the most part the rest of them are out to get you, no manors, badly trained, and have more personal problems than the people their suppose to protect. And the county court house is just as bad, when you go there to file papers, realstate, building permits or even a traffic ticket they treat you like third class trash. There is no supervission in our area at all, kinda like the republican ballot.
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| September 9, 2004, 12:17 |
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bawbie
63 / female
mesa, Arizona, US
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Re: cop humor
i heard this exchage-
arrestee (trying to be friendly) -what's your name?
cop- officer smith.*
arrestee- i mean your first name.
cop- officer.
*the names have been changed to protect the innocent.
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| September 9, 2004, 23:18 |
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