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| AUTHOR |
MESSAGE |
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GentleGiant388
48 / male
Waited for the mother ship, but fell asleep and mi, Massachusetts, US
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Ahem...Help...
I could use a bit of advice, web-naughty style… A woman, to whom, I’ve had a crush on for years, is in the process of getting a divorce. She told me, it was a long time coming. About seven years ago, she married a friend of mine. The three of us were close for awhile, but as the years have past, I lost track of them. It wasn’t until recently, that I found out about their impending divorce. I never asked why, as I look at it as none of my business. I know it’s going to be messy, as she told me about the restraining order she has against him. Now, some folks may be thinking, “What kind of friend am I, to be moving in on a friend’s ex-wife”? Well, until yesterday, I didn’t decide to make any kind of a move on her. You see, I saw him last night. He’s not talking to me anymore. He’s got it in his psycho-brain, that I’ve been seeing her for the past two months. She moved out of their house and into an apartment next-door to my parents. So, somewhere in his feeble mind, he thinks I am already doing the, “horizontal mambo” with her. I knew he didn’t like me anymore, because the local grapevine reported, that he said, that he’d rather see her dead than with the likes of me. I think the only thing stopping him, is the son they both share.
Now, I don’t have any animosity toward him, because to me, life is too short to be worried as to what he thinks. I’m too old to have time to deal with his pig-headedness. Besides, he doesn’t realize, that I’m probably the only person, who would help him retain any kind of a relationship with his son. I’ve always been a firm believer, that children should have some sort of relationship with both parents. My parents brought me up with, “Old School” values. So, while others wouldn’t give it a second thought and just jump in with both feet, I find myself walking on egg shells.
I’d like to get to know her better. She’s a doll, with every sense of value, I’m looking for in a potential mate. I’m tired of the bachelor life and would trade it all in if she were the future. So, I guess my questions would be;
When would be an acceptable waiting period to ask her father if I could court her?
Should I just go for it or am I just getting in the middle of World War 3?  
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| November 6, 2006, 06:03 |
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pepper
43 / female
daytona, Florida, US
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Re: Ahem...Help...
wait until her divorce and custody arrangements are final. Talk to her dad, get to know her son, but don't make any moves until all of that is over, it's hard to wait GG, but I think in this case, you might be glad you did!
  
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| November 6, 2006, 07:31 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Ahem...Help...
Take it day by day, only you deep inside will know what to do, what feels right. Ideally you should wait til everything's done with the whole process for him and her and sometimes it doesnt happen that way. Best of luck.
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| November 6, 2006, 07:37 |
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Chazzy
45 / female
private location, Missouri, US
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Re: Ahem...Help...
When it comes to a couple in the process of breaking up...you wanna keep some safe distance.
It's just usually true with the male half, that they will go through a phase of trying to figure out what went wrong, what happened...and they seldom see themselves as part of the reason of the break up. They will look around and will try to see what is the blame for all of it...and you do not want to be in his line of vision when this phase kicks in. Which you seem to have found out the hard way!
Being his scapegoat for his own mess will make everything harder on you and her.
Couples breaking up are a toxic whirlpool of chaos, no matter how good of individuals they are, and how good you're intentions are, you're gonna get sucked under and just end up adding to the chaos.
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| November 7, 2006, 08:39 |
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