HOW TO READ PERSONAL ADS:
WOMEN'S ADS
40-ish...............49
Adventurous..........Slept with everyone
Athletic............ No tits
Average looking......Ugly
Beautiful............Pathological liar
Contagious Smile.....Does a lot of pills
Emotionally Secure...On medication
Feminist.............Fat
Free spirit..........Junkie
Friendship first.....Former
slut
Fun..................Annoying
New-Age............ Body hair in the wrong places
Old-fashioned........No BJs
Open-minded..........Desperate
Outgoing.............Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate...........Sloppy drunk
Professional.........Bitch
Voluptuous...........Very Fat
Large frame..........Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate......Stalker
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MEN'S ADS
40-ish..............52 and looking for 25-yr-old
Athletic............Watches a lot of NASCAR
Average looking.....Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, & back
Educated............Will patronize the shit out of you
Free Spirit.........Banging your sister
Friendship first....As long as
friendship involves nookie
Fun..................good with a remote and a six pack
Good looking.........arrogant
Very good looking....Dumb as a board
Honest...............Pathological Liar
Huggable.............Overweight, more body hair than a bear
Likes to cuddle......Insecure mama's boy
Mature...............Older than your father
Open-minded..........Wants to sleep with your roommate but she's not interested
Physically fit.......Does a lot of 12-ounce curls
Poet.................Wrote ex-girlfriend's # on a bathroom stall
Sensitive............Cries at chick flicks
Very sensitive.......
Gay
Spiritual............Got laid in a cemetery once
Stable...............Arrested for stalking, but not convicted
Thoughtful............Says "Excuse me" when he farts
