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GREAT TRUTHS
 Web Naughty Forums » Naughty Jokes » GREAT TRUTHS

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 User no longer registered.
GREAT TRUTHS
I know y'all have heard most or all of these before but I just had to share........

GREAT TRUTHS

THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.

THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

ABOUT GROWING OLD
1) Growing up is mandatory; growing old is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

THE FOUR STAGES OF

LIFE:
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.

SUCCESS
At age 4 success is . not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is . having friends.
At age 16 success is . having a drivers license.
At age 35 success is having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . having friends.
At age 80 success is . not peeing in your pants.

"Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your way; BUT NEVER forget the blessings that come each day."










 June 15, 2006, 09:38
 funlovingpair
JOIN NOW TO SEE MY PHOTO!

 58 / couple
 Frozen Tundra, Minnesota, US
Re: GREAT TRUTHS
 June 16, 2006, 01:51
 nykitten
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 54 / female
 Pawling, New York, US
Re: GREAT TRUTHS
 June 16, 2006, 08:07
 magner66
JOIN NOW TO SEE MY PHOTO!

 58 / male
 Beaconsfield, England, UK
Re: GREAT TRUTHS
Its all too true
 June 19, 2006, 10:25

 Web Naughty Forums » Naughty Jokes » GREAT TRUTHS


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