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User no longer registered.
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What They Said . . .
...And What We Did
According to the story, after every Quantas Airlines flight the pilots complete a a 'gripe sheet' report, which conveys to the ground crew engineers any mechanical problems on the aircraft during the flight. The engineer reads the form, corrects the problem, then writes details of action taken on the lower section of the form for the pilot to review before the next flight. It is clear from the examples below that ground crew engineers have a keen sense of humor - these are supposedly real extracts from gripe forms completed by pilots with the solution responses by the engineers. Incidentally, Quantas has the best safety record of all the world's major airlines.
(1 = The problem logged by the pilot.) (2 = The solution and action taken by the mechanics.)
1) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
2) Almost replaced left inside main tire.
1) Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
2) Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
1) Something loose in cockpit.
2) Something tightened in cockpit.
1) Dead bugs on windshield.
2) Live bugs on back-order.
1) Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
2) Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
1) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
2) Evidence removed.
1) DME volume unbelievably loud.
2) DME volume set to more believable level.
1) Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
2) That's what they're there for.
1) IFF inoperative.
2) IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
1) Suspected crack in windshield.
2) Suspect you're right.
1) Number 3 engine missing.
2) Engine found on right wing after brief search.
1) Aircraft handles funny.
2) Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
1) Target radar hums.
2) Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
1) Mouse in cockpit.
2) Cat installed.
Smartasses... gotta love us!... I mean them!
 
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| May 22, 2006, 10:47 |
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funlovingpair
58 / couple
Frozen Tundra, Minnesota, US
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Re: What They Said . . .
Now those were really great, especially for those who really like flying.
 
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| May 22, 2006, 12:16 |
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pepper
55 / female
daytona, Florida, US
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Re: What They Said . . .
LMAO, that was very funny, Moon, thank you!
 
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| May 24, 2006, 07:25 |
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style
60 / male
glasgow, Scotland, UK
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Re: What They Said . . .
Nice one..this one's more accurate..
Friendship between Women:
A woman didn't come home one night. The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew about it.
Friendship between Men:
A man didn't come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed that he was still there.
Style
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| May 24, 2006, 08:15 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Re: What They Said . . .
QUOTE (style @ May 24, 2006, 08:15)Nice one..this one's more accurate..
Friendship between Women:
A woman didn't come home one night. The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew about it.
Friendship between Men:
A man didn't come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed that he was still there.
Style
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| May 24, 2006, 09:05 |
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nojnivek
53 / male
Pensacola, Florida, US
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Re: What They Said . . .
I love em both!
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| May 24, 2006, 12:11 |
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nykitten
54 / female
Pawling, New York, US
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Re: What They Said . . .
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| May 25, 2006, 17:29 |
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