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Start of a Story - review?
This is rough draft - straight from the fingertips to the screen without editing. Let me know if you think the character is worthy of expounding upon. thank you.
Some of you may, from your days in school remember, that one kid who never spoke aloud. The one who never went to a dance, never went to sporting events, and never joined any clubs. She usually sat alone at lunch, eating quickly with hunched shoulders and bowed head. You remember her name, but you never spoke about her in anything but quiet whispers as you stood with your popular friends in the hallways. She never made eye contact and never slowed her pace as she walked. The one time you tried to break the ice, only to be met with silence, and the vacant stare of a person who does not live in the same time and space as you. I am that girl.
I was not a recluse because I wanted to have no friends, nor because I did not like people; I had the same dreams and desires as any teenager. I wanted to dance, to play and to laugh. I wanted to run, to jump and to sing. I would have liked to be normal, to be popular, but life rarely attends to ones wishes.
I heard every single whisper, including the ones hinting that I was a gay . I saw every pointed finger and watched every laugh. I missed nothing, not one insult and not one slight escaped my attention. I catalogued it all, filed it in my memory and I made plans.
I kept two diaries; one on my desktop, detailing fictional adventures with my friends, parties I attended and stories about the boys I kissed. Every day I made a new entry, inventing whole conversations and phone calls. I knew they read this book every week, kept track of my progress, made sure I was keeping up appearances and being a normal girl. The other diary, I hid. It had the truth, in detail, it contained my real thoughts, the writings of one who knew too much, too young.
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| May 20, 2006, 22:56 |
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Leviathan4u
54 / male
The Stand, California, US
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Re: Start of a Story - review?
Knowing you KB....I can tell where this story is going. Please do finish! As always your writings are very intriguing.
Female Lev 
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| May 20, 2006, 23:31 |
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columbus17
46 / male
Memphis, Tennessee, US
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Re: Start of a Story - review?
QUOTE (kbateman @ May 20, 2006, 22:56) . . . I knew they read this book every week . . .
Who is they?
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| May 21, 2006, 00:48 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Re: Start of a Story - review?
QUOTE (columbus17 @ May 21, 2006, 00:48) QUOTE (kbateman @ May 20, 2006, 22:56) . . . I knew they read this book every week . . .
Who is they?
You learn that later - the italics didn't copy over from my word document. It should read...
I knew they read this book every week...
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| May 21, 2006, 12:32 |
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nykitten
42 / female
Pawling, New York, US
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Re: Start of a Story - review?
I would love to read the rest!....... 
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| May 21, 2006, 13:16 |
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columbus17
46 / male
Memphis, Tennessee, US
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Re: Re: Re: Start of a Story - review?
QUOTE (kbateman @ May 21, 2006, 12:32) QUOTE (columbus17 @ May 21, 2006, 00:48) QUOTE (kbateman @ May 20, 2006, 22:56) . . . I knew they read this book every week . . .
Who is they?
You learn that later - the italics didn't copy over from my word document. It should read...
I knew they read this book every week...
Ah, but if it was first typed in word, then it isn't straight from fingertips to screen.....
You know I have to give you crap any chance I git!
PS........waiting anxiously to find out who they are.
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| May 21, 2006, 14:22 |
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User no longer registered.
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Start of a Story - review?
And now the dark part starts (c) kbateman 2006
Normal life was never an option for me, it stopped when I was six and my stepfather introduced my sister and me to the joys of sex. Our mother worked and Dad, well, he watched us. We would step off the school bus and into his arms. He would take our hands and lead the way into the house. I still feel dread when I hear a wooden door closing, to me it represents the sound of anger and hate. The instant the door closed, his face would change and the monster would come out; his grip on our arms would tighten, often he would lift us from the floor in his haste.
Every day, at 3:00 PM, we would be carried or dragged into the playroom, where only one game was ever played, ‘Bad Girls.
“Are you bad girls?” he would ask.
“Yes sir!” we would recite the required reply and then the punishment would begin. Tears in our eyes, we lifted our blouses over our heads and pulled our skirts and underwear down. Daddy would then step forward and push his swollen penis toward our faces.
We played ‘Bad Girls’ for three years, the summer version being a full day version of the game. There were variations of the game, some days one of us was ‘good girl’, and was allowed to watch, other days Daddy just masturbated over our naked bodies. We were eight and nine when the game changed to ‘Very Bad Girl,’ and vaginal penetration became the daily regimen. When our periods arrived, well, anal sex was his immediate solution.
I was thirteen, when he first turned me out for his friends at fifty dollars a go. Not a day passed without one man or another coming over for an early afternoon visit. My sister serviced Daddy while I serviced his customers. A year later, she joined me; in his decency, Daddy didn’t want to turn out a pre-teenager, but a thirteen-year-old girl was obviously ready.
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| May 21, 2006, 20:58 |
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columbus17
46 / male
Memphis, Tennessee, US
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Re: Start of a Story - review?
Yes, verry dark.
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| May 21, 2006, 22:30 |
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