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Start of a Story - review?
 Web Naughty Forums » Writer's Corner » Start of a Story - review?

AUTHOR MESSAGE
 

 User no longer registered.
Start of a Story - review?
This is rough draft - straight from the fingertips to the screen without editing. Let me know if you think the character is worthy of expounding upon. thank you.



Some of you may, from your days in school remember, that one kid who never spoke aloud. The one who never went to a dance, never went to sporting events, and never joined any clubs. She usually sat alone at lunch, eating quickly with hunched shoulders and bowed head. You remember her name, but you never spoke about her in anything but quiet whispers as you stood with your popular friends in the hallways. She never made eye contact and never slowed her pace as she walked. The one time you tried to break the ice, only to be met with silence, and the vacant stare of a person who does not live in the same time and space as you. I am that girl.

I was not a recluse because I wanted to have no friends, nor because I did not like people; I had the same dreams and desires as any teenager. I wanted to dance, to play and to laugh. I wanted to run, to jump and to sing. I would have liked to be normal, to be popular, but life rarely attends to ones wishes.

I heard every single whisper, including the ones hinting that I was a gay . I saw every pointed finger and watched every laugh. I missed nothing, not one insult and not one slight escaped my attention. I catalogued it all, filed it in my memory and I made plans.

I kept two diaries; one on my desktop, detailing fictional adventures with my friends, parties I attended and stories about the boys I kissed. Every day I made a new entry, inventing whole conversations and phone calls. I knew they read this book every week, kept track of my progress, made sure I was keeping up appearances and being a normal girl. The other diary, I hid. It had the truth, in detail, it contained my real thoughts, the writings of one who knew too much, too young.
 May 20, 2006, 22:56
 

 User no longer registered.
Re: Start of a Story - review?
Knowing you KB....I can tell where this story is going. Please do finish! As always your writings are very intriguing.
Female Lev
 May 20, 2006, 23:31
 columbus17
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 58 / male
 Memphis, Tennessee, US
Re: Start of a Story - review?
  QUOTE (kbateman @ May 20, 2006, 22:56)
. . . I knew they read this book every week . . .


Who is they?
 May 21, 2006, 00:48
 

 User no longer registered.
Re: Re: Start of a Story - review?
  QUOTE (columbus17 @ May 21, 2006, 00:48)
  QUOTE (kbateman @ May 20, 2006, 22:56)
. . . I knew they read this book every week . . .


Who is they?



You learn that later - the italics didn't copy over from my word document. It should read...

I knew they read this book every week...
 May 21, 2006, 12:32
 nykitten
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 54 / female
 Pawling, New York, US
Re: Start of a Story - review?
I would love to read the rest!.......
 May 21, 2006, 13:16
 columbus17
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 58 / male
 Memphis, Tennessee, US
Re: Re: Re: Start of a Story - review?
  QUOTE (kbateman @ May 21, 2006, 12:32)
  QUOTE (columbus17 @ May 21, 2006, 00:48)
  QUOTE (kbateman @ May 20, 2006, 22:56)
. . . I knew they read this book every week . . .


Who is they?



You learn that later - the italics didn't copy over from my word document. It should read...

I knew they read this book every week...


Ah, but if it was first typed in word, then it isn't straight from fingertips to screen.....







You know I have to give you crap any chance I git!





PS........waiting anxiously to find out who they are.
 May 21, 2006, 14:22
 

 User no longer registered.
Start of a Story - review?
 May 21, 2006, 20:58
 columbus17
JOIN NOW TO SEE MY PHOTO!

 58 / male
 Memphis, Tennessee, US
Re: Start of a Story - review?
Yes, verry dark.
 May 21, 2006, 22:30

 Web Naughty Forums » Writer's Corner » Start of a Story - review?


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