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| AUTHOR |
MESSAGE |
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tuscanverve
37 / male
kolk, India
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Gender benders.....
how many hv heard these b4?
A poem for women...
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>I shave my legs,
>>
>>I sit down to pee.
>>
>>And I can justify any shopping spree.
>>
>>Don't go to a barber, but a beauty salon.
>>
>>I can get a massage without getting a hard-on.
>>
>>I can balance the checkbook,
>>
>>I can pump my own gas.
>>
>>Can talk to my friends about the size of my a$$.
>>
>>My beauty's a masterpiece and yes, it takes long.
>>
>>At least I can admit to others when I'm wrong.
>>
>>I don't drive in circles, at any cost.
>>
>>And I don't have a problem admitting I'm lost.
>>
>>I never forget an important date.
>>
>>You just gotta deal with it, I'm usually late.
>>
>>I don't watch movies with lots of gore.
>>
>>Don't need instant replay to remember the score.
>>
>>I won't lose my hair, I won't get jock itch.
>>
>>And just cause I'm assertive, don't call me a bitch!
>>
>>Don't say to your friends, Oh yeah, I can get her.
>>
>>In your dreams, my dear, cause I can do better!
>>
>>Flowers are okay,
>>
>>But jewelry's best.
>>
>>Look at me you idiot...
>>
>>Not at my chest !!!
>>
>>I don't have a problem,
>>
>>With expressing my feelings.
>>
>>I know when you're lying,
>>
>>You look at the ceiling.
>>
>>DON'T call me a GIRL ,
>>
>>a BABE or a CHICK .
>>
>>I am a WOMAN.
>>
>>Get it? you DICK!?!
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| May 12, 2006, 01:19 |
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tuscanverve
37 / male
kolk, India
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Re: Gender benders.....
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules
from the male side. These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do
not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just
say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other way.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it
yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach,
for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have
no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer
you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
fine...Really
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster
trucks
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the
couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like
camping.
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| May 12, 2006, 01:20 |
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wildflower59
64 / female
McGaheysville, Virginia, US
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Re: Gender benders.....
Very funny! I like it!  
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| May 12, 2006, 08:14 |
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just4urplsur
57 / male
platte city, Missouri, US
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Re: Gender benders.....
OMG We should name it something like a mans bible 
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| May 12, 2006, 15:17 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Gender benders.....
Tooo funny.. 
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| May 12, 2006, 18:52 |
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nykitten
54 / female
Pawling, New York, US
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Re: Gender benders.....
Very good!.....
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| May 16, 2006, 13:03 |
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funlovingpair
58 / couple
Frozen Tundra, Minnesota, US
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Re: Gender benders.....
When your right, your right. 
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| May 17, 2006, 00:39 |
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