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naivity
How do you cure yourself of being naive - how do you learn to make good judgements on who to trust and who not to trust - how do you remove an inherent trait that makes you believe everyone is good and allows everyone to seem good to you, and then you get burned??
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| May 5, 2006, 02:04 |
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DOCMD10
44 / male
Nassau, Bahamas
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Re: naivity
PESSIMISM....that's what i did from a really young age...expect the worst so disappointments don't affect u
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| May 5, 2006, 02:08 |
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lizonya
63 / couple
lake elsinore, California, US
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Re: naivity
optimism...always look for the lesson in the situation and grow from it.    there is no cure baby, just a thing called life and no one is perfect, but always strive to be the best person you can be and good things will happen. so long as you can look in the mirror and be happy with who you are. don't try to change for anyone.
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| May 5, 2006, 02:46 |
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Re: naivity
Realism... in a world of more than 6 billion people chances are we'll get to meet the "right" and the "wrong" kind, or even people who are "right" first and then prove to be completely "wrong", or the opposite... the chances are countless. Just keep your eyes and ears open for what you're looking for. 
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| May 5, 2006, 02:55 |
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Re: naivity
QUOTE (CKTC @ May 5, 2006, 02:04)How do you cure yourself of being naive - how do you learn to make good judgements on who to trust and who not to trust - how do you remove an inherent trait that makes you believe everyone is good and allows everyone to seem good to you, and then you get burned??
I always assume the best of people and their actions are really "reactions" So what someone does doesn't concern me but why someone does it will. I believe, or just want to believe that humans in general are inherently good, their behavior and reactions to outside stimuli can be bad.
There are some truly evil people, but I think they must be diseased in some way, psychologically, physically, genetically?
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| May 5, 2006, 07:36 |
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just4urplsur
57 / male
platte city, Missouri, US
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Re: naivity
I believe that EVERYONE is basically good and not out to burn you. And i try to stay away from the bad people of the world because i dont like to be burned.(chazzy will you pass me that burn ointment please?) 
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| May 5, 2006, 10:38 |
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Re: naivity
Chazzy - exactly. And this has nothing to do with this website - it is my choice of friends sometimes. I want to believe that they are good and then after years - and I mean years of being emotionally used it finally sinks in that they are not who I thought they where - why does this take me so long???
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| May 5, 2006, 23:22 |
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Re: Re: naivity
QUOTE (CKTC @ May 5, 2006, 23:22)Chazzy - exactly. And this has nothing to do with this website - it is my choice of friends sometimes. I want to believe that they are good and then after years - and I mean years of being emotionally used it finally sinks in that they are not who I thought they where - why does this take me so long???
Myabe we're allot alike....I have too much patience for my own good! I often end up being the best (and only) friend that can tolerate someone. They're not really bad people, just people use their bad history as a crutch, instead of using it as a tool for change.
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| May 6, 2006, 08:05 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: naivity
This is going to sound so bad but, JUST WHIP THEIR ASS.... works for me....   
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| May 6, 2006, 08:09 |
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wildflower59
64 / female
McGaheysville, Virginia, US
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Re: Re: Re: naivity
QUOTE (Chazzy @ May 6, 2006, 08:05) QUOTE (CKTC @ May 5, 2006, 23:22)Chazzy - exactly. And this has nothing to do with this website - it is my choice of friends sometimes. I want to believe that they are good and then after years - and I mean years of being emotionally used it finally sinks in that they are not who I thought they where - why does this take me so long???
Myabe we're allot alike....I have too much patience for my own good! I often end up being the best (and only) friend that can tolerate someone. They're not really bad people, just people use their bad history as a crutch, instead of using it as a tool for change.
I tend to do the same thing. I spend years reminding myself that no one acts like a jerk on purpose, if they didn't have needs they wouldn't be human. And then when I need something, no one is around and I'm on my own. Unfortunately family is the worst. And yes, if someone came to me and said they needed help with something I would do whatever I could to help them and I'll get burned again.
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| May 6, 2006, 08:54 |
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Re: naivity
Thanks for all the responses - it was interesting to know what you all thought. I don't want to be one of these people that thinks the worst of people until they prove themselves - that is not me. So I will just keep an open mind and try to spot red flags a little earlier.
And RC . . . you just want to watch!! 
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| May 7, 2006, 01:13 |
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Re: naivity
watch hell... I'll help.... I can't stand people who screw people over .. as I so called friend of mine found out not that long ago.... YEA... I STILL GOT IT... LMAO... 
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| May 7, 2006, 21:08 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: naivity
experience,,,,,,,,,,,,and always be careful,,,,,use ur gut instincts ,,,,,,or first impression,,,,,,usually right,,,
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| May 7, 2006, 21:17 |
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Re: naivity
RC - I had NO doubt! 
Ripp - very good advise - not so sure I am good at tuning into it.
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| May 8, 2006, 00:28 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: naivity
you sound kinda like me there woman.. we're good hearted people 
I sometimes think I have that same problem with some of my friends and 2 of my "best friends" lives together now and they keep putting the whole "you don't call us" deal when they just as much know how the phone works. They've used that one on me for so long I haven't called them because I got tired of them blaming me for not hanging out with them. Other reason is that I have my son and they're still young and able to do whatever whenever when I can't do that anymore.
In fact, last time I seen both of my friends together was at one of the girl's mom's "Party Gal" thing and I knew all the people there (except for the one who did all the showing of the show, etc) and none of them said a damn thing to me, when they had begged and begged me to come and when I do.. I get the cold shoulder. I left as soon as I could.
I've been getting better at not trusting many people like I used to. Basically it's just a life experience, you live and learn. Theres no switch you can turn on and off on how to be trusting, etc of others and you'll be alright though. You seem to have been doing great so far, and the rest will come just as great.
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| May 8, 2006, 00:41 |
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Re: naivity
OMG BC - I drove all the way from south to north US - they know I am here. All I here from the Mom's though - is you really need to give them a call or they will feel bad. Lord!! They know I am here! WTF?? And one person wont drive the 20 miles when I drove how many?????? Boy does that tell ya something!
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| May 8, 2006, 09:10 |
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Re: naivity
Trust everyone once..........
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| May 8, 2006, 10:37 |
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Re: naivity
How's that ole saying go?
"Hurt me once, shame on you...."
something like that...
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| May 8, 2006, 10:38 |
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Re: Re: naivity
QUOTE (Chazzy @ May 8, 2006, 10:38)How's that ole saying go?
"Hurt me once, shame on you...."
something like that...
"Fool me once, shame on you...... fool me twice, shame on me..."
Same thing lol
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| May 8, 2006, 11:15 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Re: Re: naivity
QUOTE (MoonHowler @ May 8, 2006, 11:15) QUOTE (Chazzy @ May 8, 2006, 10:38)How's that ole saying go?
"Hurt me once, shame on you...."
something like that...
"Fool me once, shame on you...... fool me twice, shame on me..."
Same thing lol
I had it all wrong...you got it right!
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| May 8, 2006, 11:29 |
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