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Tax Day Funnies
Lemon Squeezer:
The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet: The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried over time but nobody could do it.
One day this scrawny little man came into the bar, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a tiny squeaky voice " I'd like to try the bet."
After the laughter had died down, the bartender said OK, grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man. The crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass.
As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1000, and asked the little man "What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight-lifter, or what?"
The man replied, "I work for the IRS."
Seeing Stars:
A visitor from Holland was chatting with his American friend and was jokingly explaining about the red, white and blue in the Netherlands flag.
"Our flag symbolizes our taxes," he said. "We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bill, and blue after we pay them."
"That's the same with us," the American said,
"only we see stars, too."
Counting Sheep:
An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor.
"Doctor, I just can't get to sleep at night."
"Have you tried counting sheep?"
"That's the problem; I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it."
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| April 17, 2006, 08:56 |
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just4urplsur
57 / male
platte city, Missouri, US
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Re: Tax Day Funnies
almost as cute as you are. 
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| April 17, 2006, 10:12 |
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nykitten
54 / female
Pawling, New York, US
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Re: Tax Day Funnies
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| April 17, 2006, 19:20 |
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wildflower59
64 / female
McGaheysville, Virginia, US
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Re: Tax Day Funnies
very funny (as I sit here doing someone else's taxes!!)
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| April 17, 2006, 19:22 |
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