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naughtyandnasty
54 / couple
blythe, California, US
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Time to cut back on coffee
-You answer the door before people knock.
-Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
-You ski uphill.
-You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.
-You speed walk in your sleep.
-You have a bumper sticker that says: "Coffee drinkers are good in the sack."
-You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
-You just completed another sweater and you don't know how to knit.
-You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
-You sleep with your eyes open.
-You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
-The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.
-You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.
-You lick your coffeepot clean.
-You spend every vacation visiting "Maxwell House."
-You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don't even work there.
-You've worn out your third pair of tennis shoes this week.
-Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
-You chew on other people's fingernails.
-The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
-Your T-shirt says, "Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's blend."
-You're so jittery that people use your hands to blend their margaritas.
-You can type sixty words per minute... with your feet.
-You can jump-start your car without cables.
-Cocaine is a downer.
-All your kids are named "Joe".
-You don't need a hammer to pound nails.
-Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low."
-You don't sweat, you percolate.
-You buy 1/2 & 1/2 by the barrel.
-You've worn out the handle on your favorite mug.
-You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
-You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
-You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
-Charles Manson thinks you need to calm down.
-You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
-People get dizzy just watching you.
-You've worn the finish off your coffee table.
-The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you.
-Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.
-Your taste buds are so numb you could drink your lava lamp.
-You're so wired, you pick up AM radio.
-People can test their batteries in your ears.
-Your life's goal is to amount to a hill of beans.
-Instant coffee takes too long.
-You channel surf faster without a remote.
-When someone says. "How are you?", you say, "Good to the last drop."
-You want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest of eternity in a coffee can.
-You want to come back as a coffee mug in your next life.
-Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.
-You'd be willing to spend time in a Turkish prison.
-You go to sleep just so you can wake up and smell the coffee.
-You're offended when people use the word "brew" to mean beer.
-You name your cats "Cream" and "Sugar."
-You get drunk just so you can sober up.
-You speak perfect Arabic without ever taking a lesson.
-Your Thermos is on wheels.
-Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position.
-You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
-You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
-You short out motion detectors.
-You have a conniption over spilled milk.
-You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
-Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
-You think being called a "drip" is a compliment.
-You don't tan, you roast.
-You don't get mad, you get steamed.
-Your three favorite things in life are...coffee before, coffee during and coffee after.
-Your lover uses soft lights, romantic music, and a glass of iced coffee to get you in the mood.
-You can't even remember your second cup.
-You help your dog chase its tail.
-You soak your dentures in coffee overnight.
-Your coffee mug is insured by Lloyds of London.
-You introduce your spouse as your coffeemate.
-You think CPR stands for "Coffee Provides Resuscitation."
-Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.
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| April 4, 2006, 05:26 |
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funlovingpair
58 / couple
Frozen Tundra, Minnesota, US
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Re: Time to cut back on coffee
  
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| April 4, 2006, 11:51 |
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nykitten
54 / female
Pawling, New York, US
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Re: Time to cut back on coffee
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| April 4, 2006, 13:07 |
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