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Doc426
73 / male
Los Angeles, California, US
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Just found out my wife is cheating...
A sad-looking man walks into a bar. He looks so down the bartender asks him, “Why the long face?”
The man replies dolefully, “I just found out my wife is sleeping with another man. I’ve decided I’m going to drink myself to death.”
The bartender is concerned to hear this and tells the man, “I’m sorry but I can’t help you kill yourself. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.”
The man asks him, “Well what would you do in my situation?”
The bartender thinks for a moment and says, “Honestly, if I found out a guy was sleeping with my wife I wouldn’t sit around feeling sorry for myself or drinking myself to death, I’d kill the guy.”
The man leaps from his stool and shouts, “Hey, that’s a great idea! Thanks!” and runs out of the bar leaving the shocked bartender behind.
A couple hours later the man walks back into the bar with a smile on his face.
The bartender is nervous now. He’s afraid to ask but eventually says, “Did you kill the guy?”
The man says, “No, I slept with your wife! Whiskey please.”
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| May 1, 2024, 22:42 |
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Iwant2kssuallovr
61 / female
Bendover, Florida, US
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Re: Just found out my wife is cheating...
Interesting.
This song played a couple of nights before my brother was married. I do scare him a little.
[Verse 1]
He was on his way home from Candletop
Been two weeks gone and he thought he'd stop
At Web's and have him a drink 'fore he went home to her
Andy Wo-Lo said hello, he said, "Hi, what's new?" and Wo said
"Sit down, I got some bad news that's gonna hurt"
[Verse 2]
Said, "I'm your best friend and you know that's right
But your young bride ain't home tonight
Since you've been gone, she's been seein' that Amos boy, Seth"
Now he got mad and he saw red
Andy said, "Boy, don't you lose your head
'Cause to tell you the truth, I've been with her myself"
[Chorus]
That's the night that the lights went out in Georgia
That's the night that they hung an innocent man
Well, don't trust your soul to no backwoods Southern lawyer
'Cause the judge in the town's got bloodstains on his hands
[Verse 3]
Well, Andy got scared and left the bar
Walking on home 'cause he didn't live far
You see, Andy didn't have many friends and he just lost him one
Brother thought his wife must have left town
So he went home and finally found
The only thing Daddy had left him, and that was a gun
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[Verse 4]
He went off to Andy's house
Slipping through the backwoods quiet as a mouse
Came upon some tracks too small for Andy to make
He looked through the screen at the back porch door
And he saw Andy lying on the floor
In a puddle of blood, and he started to shake
[Bridge]
The Georgia patrol was making their rounds
So he fired a shot just to flag 'em down
A big-bellied sheriff grabbed his gun and said
"Why'd you do it?"
[Verse 5]
The judge said guilty on a make-believe trial
Slapped the sheriff on the back with a smile
He said, "Supper's waiting at home and I gotta get to it"
[Chorus]
That's the night that the lights went out in Georgia
That's the night that they hung an innocent man
Well, don't trust your soul to no backwoods Southern lawyer
'Cause the judge in the town's got bloodstains on his hands
[Verse 6]
Well, they hung my brother before I could say
The tracks he saw while on his way
To Andy's house and back that night were mine
And his cheating wife had never left town
That's one body that'll never be found
You see, little sister don't miss when she aims her gun
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| May 3, 2024, 01:48 |
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