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Home From The Bar
 Web Naughty Forums » Naughty Jokes » Home From The Bar

AUTHOR MESSAGE
 Doc426
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 73 / male
 Los Angeles, California, US
Home From The Bar
Paddy staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddies. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife. He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to the upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. He caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.

Managing not to yell, Paddy sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting Band-Aids as best he could on each place he saw blood.

He then hid the almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.

In the morning, Paddy woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and his wife staring daggers at him from across the room

She said, "You were drunk again last night weren't you?"

Paddy said, "Why would you say such a thing?"

"Well," she said, "it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly, it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror."
 April 5, 2018, 04:38
 yepper12
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 73 / male
 Jeffersonville, Pennsylvania, US
Re: Home From The Bar
 April 5, 2018, 14:51
 Iwant2kssuallovr
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 61 / female
 Bendover, Florida, US
Re: Home From The Bar

Once when the husband was asked, "How do you know if your drunk?"

He responded, "If I can stand then I am not drunk."

He took his hand off the mantle and began to walk to toward the bed. He fell to the floor where he slept the night through.

His wife, "oh"
 May 4, 2018, 14:38

 Web Naughty Forums » Naughty Jokes » Home From The Bar


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