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onehornee
63 / male
69'sDevine, Michigan, US
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How to erase Negative influence and live Posetively
All of us have at a time lived negatively or are still living negatively. There is a lot of negativity within us where people are afraid to express themselves as to being afraid of negative response. Everything that we as human beings do is for ourselves and you can't afford to make anyone happy if you are not happy yourself. It has to start with you first and what you want in your life nobody can take away from you.
1.Anything that happens in your life affects you, and the outcome depends on you and how you choose to overcome the situation. You make yourself happy by changing negative thoughts into positive thoughts. You make yourself happy by the choices you make, both ethical choices and practical choices. If a tornado blows your house down, you can be glad to be alive or miserable because you lost all your stuff or feel both - but paying more attention to being glad you're alive is a way to pick yourself up and rebuild a lot better. Just think, that ghastly vase from your aunt is gone too now. There is always a high side and always a funny side even if those are the same thing.
2.It is up to you to find happiness by changing your behavior if something does indeed bother you. This can include changing your context. If you don't fit in well with people where you live now, it could be that you'd fit in better if you went back home where everyone reacts to things the way you do and can tell if you're just joking. Or if you didn't fit in at all where you grew up, there may be a different region where the social climate is much closer to your way of life.
3.Setting and doing your best to achieve goals, will allow your dreams to come true. Set them reasonably. Set a lot of small goals for steps along the way to achieve big goals. Having at least one small achievement a day does wonders for having a good attitude in life and something to look forward to. Don't put a hard deadline on the big goals, life happens and sometimes they get put off or come into reach sooner. Success in the little day-goals will get you going in the right direction.
4.Taking advice from others is good, however, you are the only one that knows whether the advice will help you. If you tried it and it didn't work, trying again might not be a bad idea. If you tried it too many times and it never worked, stop and rethink it. Something is missing and it isn't always your will power. Try something else and test it with small daily goals, see what you get with other ways to achieve your goals
5.Positive thinking will absolutely make your life better, and you should keep that in mind. All or nothing is not positive thinking. Positive thinking is something else - it's looking at things as they are and choosing to pay a little more attention to the good things, small kindnesses, small beauties in life and share those rather than sharing the equally inevitable gripes. It's not some grand disbelief that bad things ever happen or that everyone is nice and it sure isn't ripping into someone who isn't being positive because they're ruining the positivity by their tears. It's sharing a bit of compassion for them and moving on knowing you were kind. It's seeing a dewdrop on a weed and remembering there is beauty, no matter where you are there is always beauty for those who look for it.
6.When you are happy, look inside yourself to understand why -- if you understand why you are happy, you can learn to control and arrange your life to maximize situations in which you'll be happy. People question themselves when things go wrong in a natural desire to figure it out so it doesn't happen again. Do that when you're happy to figure out how to make it happen again too! Also when you are sorting out what went wrong, stand back from it a little and don't just look at it in black and white. Look at it from all sides.
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| June 17, 2012, 12:14 |
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onehornee
63 / male
69'sDevine, Michigan, US
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Re: How to erase Negative influence and live Posetively
Tips..
Try to think about yourself sometimes as well. If you don't take care of yourself, you will not have the resources to take care of anybody else. So balance your love of others with your own real needs and don't neglect either.
Nobody is going to make sure you are sorted if you don't sort it yourself out. Those that think they can may sometimes do you a lot of harm with the best intentions in the world and waste their efforts.
Everything you do, you do for yourself and everyone is for themselves so even if you do things to please other people you won't be happy in the end.
That also means taking others in their own terms and trying to understand them, look at things from their perspective and you'll have a better idea of why they react the way they do. You may know what you want in life and they may want to protect you by steering you into something you're less suited for. Parents do this a lot with the best intentions and don't always understand when they are rushing a child's dream or imposing one of their dreams on a child who's not cut out for it.
Teachers do it often too. Ultimately you're the one who has to live in your life, so people who care about you can be wrong and that doesn't mean they don't care.
To have a fruitful, happy life and give joy to others as well, you have to make yourself happy first.
Nobody can take away your happiness without your permission.
If you agree with the oppressor, you are helping them oppress you. Know your own ethics, build a sense of right and wrong for yourself looking at all the moral questions in life and hold on to your integrity. Being wrong doesn't always make them bad people, well intentioned good people can do twice as much harm sometimes
Warnings..
Avoid those always pull you down.
Avoid those that add negativity to your life.
Avoid those that never give you valuable advice.
Never attempt to satisfy immediate desire by compromising your integrity
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| June 17, 2012, 12:15 |
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perveman
110 / male
Tucson, Arizona, US
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Re: How to erase Negative influence and live Posetively
Great topic. You said it already. I too, was in a spot in my life, and was stuck. No details, but when I asked someone, "What is the answer? He said, "Its inside yourself." It did not comprehend it at the time, but during my daily routine at work, I suddenly realized, hey, I got it! I cannnot explain or teach it to anyone else, but we all have the answers inside us. After the love of my life passed away, eventually, I sunk so low, I had to look up, to see down. Ended up with just the clothes on my back. Clinically, medically depressd, grief sricken, down in the dirt alcoholic. Stuck, could not imagine any way out, but death. I was shit. Do not want to hear any "Poor perve" crap, just making a point. Point being is, after several years, I got IT. Still do not know what IT is, but I know I have it. As I said, IT, is in all of us. No exceptions, if I could get IT, anyone can. The ole perve is good to go! Hope all find IT, soon.
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| June 17, 2012, 13:15 |
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perveman
110 / male
Tucson, Arizona, US
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Re: How to erase Negative influence and live Posetively
Oh, and negative infuences, not happening with me, my mind emmediatly responds "Fuck the dumb shit." Its an automatic self defense mechenism. Some call it thick skinned. Whatever. The only one bringing my ass down, is me, and I dont have that on my to do list. 
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| June 17, 2012, 13:24 |
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perveman
110 / male
Tucson, Arizona, US
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Re: How to erase Negative influence and live Posetively
Brings me to this. Success: Success is, living your life, the way you want to. Success means different things to different people. I am successful.  . Also, "Life happens, when you are making plans." I am living my future, this is it, I have arrived. Sure I could have a lot more materialistic junk, dont need it, or want it. Stuff just does not make me happy. Ha ha. Let me have a blanket, pillow, a.m. radio, and a corner of a room, I am good to go. I have the basics, hell, I am Bill Gates. What does he do? Sleeps, wears one set of clothes at a time (cough), eats one meal at at time, and all the daily routne. Hey, so do I. And the difference between him and I is......and......GO! Ya know, I am so glad I was not born with. Silver spoon in my mouth. I feel sorry for those who were.
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| June 17, 2012, 13:55 |
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onehornee
63 / male
69'sDevine, Michigan, US
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Re: Re: How to erase Negative influence and live Posetively
QUOTE (perveman @ June 17, 2012, 13:15)Great topic. You said it already. I too, was in a spot in my life, and was stuck. No details, but when I asked someone, "What is the answer? He said, "Its inside yourself." It did not comprehend it at the time, but during my daily routine at work, I suddenly realized, hey, I got it! I cannnot explain or teach it to anyone else, but we all have the answers inside us. After the love of my life passed away, eventually, I sunk so low, I had to look up, to see down. Ended up with just the clothes on my back. Clinically, medically depressd, grief sricken, down in the dirt alcoholic. Stuck, could not imagine any way out, but death. I was shit. Do not want to hear any "Poor perve" crap, just making a point. Point being is, after several years, I got IT. Still do not know what IT is, but I know I have it. As I said, IT, is in all of us. No exceptions, if I could get IT, anyone can. The ole perve is good to go! Hope all find IT, soon.
Cool beans Perve,yea Im in the process of resetting my life from the negative crud to a more posetive and happier state.cant wait to get things rolling.glad to see you have a handle on this already dude. WTG
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| June 17, 2012, 16:26 |
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perveman
110 / male
Tucson, Arizona, US
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Re: How to erase Negative influence and live Posetively
Ya One, I did not reply trying to impress anyone, or like I said, the poor perve crap, just sharing experience. (How expirienced can I, as 22 year old have, depending how old WN says I am today, lol). But seriously though, I have a college degree, but thats toilet paper. I really scholastically, am as dumb as a stump. Wisdom? Solomon comes to me with questions, no shit. (think anyone is buying that? Lol) All I am saying, is I got it ALL together, and all there is left, is to live it out, and die. Cool huh?
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| June 17, 2012, 19:52 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: How to erase Negative influence and live Posetively
Answer is easy.------------Quit driving truck. that'd get rid of all the negativity I encounter and improve my positive outlook.
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| June 17, 2012, 23:55 |
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onehornee
63 / male
69'sDevine, Michigan, US
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Re: Re: How to erase Negative influence and live Posetively
QUOTE (OOMG @ June 17, 2012, 23:55)Answer is easy.------------Quit driving truck. that'd get rid of all the negativity I encounter and improve my positive outlook.
lmfao OOMG, yea thats to easy dude, but I've considered it lmfao
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| June 18, 2012, 02:06 |
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perveman
110 / male
Tucson, Arizona, US
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Re: How to erase Negative influence and live Posetively
Wish it were that simple.
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| June 18, 2012, 02:24 |
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newbie1011
62 / female
The Shore, New Jersey, US
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Re: How to erase Negative influence and live Posetively
Some people are happiest when things are in turmoil or if they are making others unhappy.
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| June 18, 2012, 03:14 |
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perveman
110 / male
Tucson, Arizona, US
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Re: Re: How to erase Negative influence and live Posetively
QUOTE (newbie1011 @ June 18, 2012, 03:14)Some people are happiest when things are in turmoil or if they are making others unhappy.
Wow, that sucks. I am happy, that others around me are happy. But I am happy anyway, lol. Gonna take a nap now. Me and my big fat cat cuddling up with me. Just the simple things please me. Ha ha.
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| June 18, 2012, 10:06 |
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onehornee
63 / male
69'sDevine, Michigan, US
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Re: Re: How to erase Negative influence and live Posetively
QUOTE (newbie1011 @ June 18, 2012, 03:14)Some people are happiest when things are in turmoil or if they are making others unhappy.
Yea newbs I have been to close to a few of these,sure is discouraging now that i look back.glad to be free of it now tho 
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| June 18, 2012, 12:05 |
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perveman
110 / male
Tucson, Arizona, US
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Re: How to erase Negative influence and live Posetively
Basics are, be an island, and when you get yourself all set, then add others. If thats what you want.
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| June 18, 2012, 13:19 |
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newbie1011
62 / female
The Shore, New Jersey, US
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Re: How to erase Negative influence and live Posetively
I have been around people that I believe love to be miserable. I try to distance myself from them. You know the saying "misery loves company". I find it's hard to be be around those people for any length of time. It wears on you.What I find strange is that they seem to want to be that way. I would think its a much harder way to live.
I decided many years ago that, if someone is bad for me and/or the people I care about, I just cut them out of my life. Some might think that's harsh but I found since I have been doing that, my life is much better.There are enough bad things in life that are out of our control. Negative people in my life is something I can control by just walking away. It's really just that easy.I feel so lucky that I have a pretty good life. I know I have my problems but, so does everyone. But I am really in a good place. I think I'm lucky.
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| June 18, 2012, 19:18 |
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