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onehornee
63 / male
69'sDevine, Michigan, US
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Fallen out?WTF
Well its been a long time In this last relationaship .Ive just come to the end of One,I really dont understand how Our minds work that I am where im at today.
I will try to explain, maybe someone can shed light on this,ok?
I have recently ended a LTR of 17 years with a woman that has all the features I find attractive .She Is 5'8 135 lbs Brunette with 36DD boobies and very nice looks,i feel are owed to her hungarian heritage.Likes alot of the things I do and has alot of traits I do aswell. Likes sex sometimes Kinky and has never failed to meet any expectations.She is really an awsome Lady.
So whats the problem you say..I will try to explain.
A few years back I had noticed some important key features missing from our relationship,I dont know how it happened But i have fallen out of love with my woman,its not something i can figure out, its like theres no longer an emotional connection between us, and I miss the emotional connection and the feeling of being in Love, Thats likely the dumbest thing youll ever hear but its the deal.
I spent the last 2 years trying to figure out how to refall in love with her and have tryed all i can think of to no avail.I cant re establish my feelings for her no matter what i try.I dont understand WTF the deal is But these loss of feelings are really boggling my mind,Has anyone else ever just feel out of love before,its the dumbest thing ive ever heard of,but I feel it accurate..
We are still very close and she will be taking a spare bedroom until she finds an apartment,Heck I cant use 3 of these 4 bedrooms anyways,so Im good with that,My other hangup is The sex is very good between us and sleeping with someone youve just broke up with can really cause mixed up emotional messages,Not sure either can manage keeping hands off as we still like eachother,More then a few times I have been woke to a sexy body sneeking into bed and nearly raping me.And i was wondering what you all might think of that setup.. could get messy .
this may sound like nothing to you guys but the lack of feelings is serious shit too me, just wondered if anyone has been here?   Thanks One
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| May 31, 2012, 13:30 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Fallen out?WTF
As long as you are both in the same house, having sex...you are not "broken up"....you're just in rocky waters.
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| May 31, 2012, 13:39 |
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onehornee
63 / male
69'sDevine, Michigan, US
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Re: Re: Fallen out?WTF
QUOTE (Chazzy @ May 31, 2012, 13:39)As long as you are both in the same house, having sex...you are not "broken up"....you're just in rocky waters.
usually that would be the case chazzy but it is really over less the sex as friends..her and I both know that
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| May 31, 2012, 13:45 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Fallen out?WTF
If it fell out, how can ya have sex ?
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| May 31, 2012, 14:51 |
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User no longer registered.
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Re: Re: Re: Fallen out?WTF
QUOTE (onehornee @ May 31, 2012, 13:45) QUOTE (Chazzy @ May 31, 2012, 13:39)As long as you are both in the same house, having sex...you are not "broken up"....you're just in rocky waters.
usually that would be the case chazzy but it is really over less the sex as friends..her and I both know that
Sounds fine, until one or both of you decide to start or even start to think about dating again while this fwb relationship is still contained under one roof.
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| May 31, 2012, 15:09 |
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onehornee
63 / male
69'sDevine, Michigan, US
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Fallen out?WTF
QUOTE (Chazzy @ May 31, 2012, 15:09) QUOTE (onehornee @ May 31, 2012, 13:45) QUOTE (Chazzy @ May 31, 2012, 13:39)As long as you are both in the same house, having sex...you are not "broken up"....you're just in rocky waters.
usually that would be the case chazzy but it is really over less the sex as friends..her and I both know that
Sounds fine, until one or both of you decide to start or even start to think about dating again while this fwb relationship is still contained under one roof.
Your spot on Chazzy,I thought about what you said and spent the next hour talking with her about this on the phone,I really think its a trainwwreck waiting to happen having sex all the time when we are on the outs,She and I have come to an agreement about it,from the beginning I thought it was going to get one or both of us hurt feelings and mixed messages, so Finally I think were ok with just roomates till her apartment is ready.I wouldnt feel cozy having a date over till she was gone really .For the first time in my life i think it would be nice to not jump into bed with someone while Im on the rebound,Kindof a new concept for me... This is why i love this place so much, everyone seems to pitch in when someone is having a low.. thanks eh!
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| May 31, 2012, 16:38 |
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newbie1011
62 / female
The Shore, New Jersey, US
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Re: Fallen out?WTF
I think we have a messed up concept of relationships. Most people think we should fit unto a certain mold that they have in their imagination. Even worse society has us believing you are not "normal" if you are not having the relationship that some so called expert says you should be having.Are you in a "traditional" relationship? Are you in a "normal" relationship? What is the next step? Aren't you getting married? Having kids?
These are all bullshit and it messes us up. We tend to be raised to believe that you have the fireworks forever, especially if it's a "soul mate" type of relationship. Then you get engaged, then married, then kids.The realities are so different. There is no "normal" when it comes to everyone. People are all different and you need to find what your normal is.
When in a relationship for many years, we tend to think we are still supposed to have those fireworks every time you see each other.Sometimes people grow apart because you mature and realize you have different interests. Sometimes people get board. Sometimes you just get to comfortable. Then you see "that couple" that has a fireworks display going on and you feel like your relationship is broken.
I don't know your circumstances well enough to say what happened or if you really even have "fallen out of love". Whatever it was you obviously feel something important was missing. Maybe looking to recapture what it was is not what you need. Maybe you need to look for what you want in a long term relationship then decide if that can be achieved with her or anyone. Remember expectations should be realistic. Many times that's where the problem is. I think if you expect fireworks forever you might have unrealistic expectations, no matter who you are with.
Having sex with you ex can be done. I will say very few can pull it off without feeling getting hurt and confused but it can happen. The main things to remember are :1. Be honest about your feelings and reasons why your having sex. 2. Be prepared to loose the other person as a friend if things go bad.
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| June 1, 2012, 04:11 |
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