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BigDaddyJ
33 / male
Springfield, Massachusetts, US
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8 tricks to make her relax and help her climax: A public Service
1)Take Her Off the Clock
Just as you're concerned about lasting longer, many women are so self-conscious about taking too long that they end up faking orgasm or deciding to go without. The solution? Stop obsessing over orgasms—yours and hers. A recent brain-imaging study by Swedish researchers shows that relaxation is the single most important factor in bringing a woman to orgasm.
So tell her she has all night. The better you convey not just tolerance for a lengthy buildup, but also appreciation of her sexual pleasure —orgasm or not—the easier it will be for her to unwind and explode. Oh, and studies show that it takes 15 to 40 minutes for the average woman to reach orgasm
2) Always Be Tender Up Top
During foreplay, gently brush the tops, bottoms, and sides of her breasts; these areas are actually more sensitive than an unaroused areola and nipple. Gradually move in toward her nipples, paying attention to how she responds. As things heat up, the nipples will become flushed with blood, and the sensory receptors will become primed for direct stimulation. You'll kickstart the bloodflow and lubrication down below, starting her slow buildup.
3) Learn Her Key Strokes
One thing many women love during manual stimulation: a slow buildup. Here's how to do it: Lie next to her, lightly bracing the heel of one hand just above her clitoris. Now run your ring and middle fingers along the length of her outer lips. Graze the skin at first, adding pressure as the tension builds. Cup the area around her clitoris with your palm to add indirect stimulation—most women are too sensitive to receive direct contact early on. As she becomes aroused, brace your hand on her mons—her pubic mound, the fleshy area that covers her pubic bone—and tease the clitoris with the middles and tips of your fingers as you move your entire hand.
4) Change Your Angle
Play Ponce de León and explore various types of penetration to figure out what turns her on most. Your first stop: her G-spot, located about 1 to 2 inches up the front wall of her vagina. This spongy region swells during arousal. Try massaging the area slowly with your fingers. A lot of women find it mind blowing. Not her thing? Just move on.
5) Use Moves that Multitask
To maximize her pleasure, increase the amount of contact you'll have with her most sensitive parts. Here's one move that will drive her wild: Ask her to lie on her back, with her legs stretched out. Now climb on top. Curl your arms around her shoulders, supporting yourself with your elbows and moving your chest up by her chin. The goal is to bring the base of your penis in contact with her clitoris. Thrust slowly, focusing on up-and-down movement instead of in-and-out penetration.
Another great trick: Move your pubic mound in a circle or up and down against her clitoris. You'll get a break from high-intensity stimulation, and she'll receive focused attention where it often matters most.
6) Learn to Sense Her Orgasm
Ease into oral sex —don't just attack. First kiss her inner thighs and her inner and outer lips, then work your way inside using firm, broad strokes with your tongue. Watch her hips for a clue to the rhythm she likes. Listen to her gasps and moans as you experiment with different techniques.
And watch for signs she's close to climaxing, such as a subtle deepening in the color of her labia caused by increased bloodflow. Or rest a hand on her stomach and feel for the muscular contractions that immediately precede her orgasm.
7) Follow Her Lead
Once you reach your point of no return, you'll climax even if you're interrupted by a tuba-playing, thong-clad Bea Arthur. But your lady could hit the "off" switch if you stop or change moves midway to orgasm. We love it when you try new things, and it's important to vary your technique, but once you've found a winner, stick with it until she crosses the finish line.
8) Let Her Finish First
Stalking the elusive tandem orgasm is an admirable goal, but many women—especially those with sensitive clitorises—respond better to a "ladies-first" strategy. If you rub the clitoris for a long time—during thrusting, for example—it can become too sore or desensitized to respond to manual or oral stimulation later. So satisfy her before intercourse.
Bonus: A woman's orgasm threshold drops after her first one, so it's often easier to bring her to climax through penetration after she's already had one. How does that sound for an encore?
lastly but not least do not do not underestimate the importance of making her comfortable. Not all women are the same and everyone has there own needs. But helping them to relax and be comfortable will get you a long way towards the promis land. I hope this has been of help and you all have a wonderful time trying some of these out. Also ladies I am always in need of new "research" to help expand my expertise.  
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| February 1, 2012, 08:21 |
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newbie1011
50 / female
The Shore, New Jersey, US
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Re: 8 tricks to make her relax and help her climax: A public Service
I have to say again as I have on your other well intended posts that these are generalizations and speaking as a women I can say some, if not most do not apply to me. I know and hope that everyone knows that we are all different.
I just read a woman's post on "exactly how to go down on a woman". She stated things like "NEVER EVER suck at all it will shut a woman down to a stand still in a second". I personally like when he sucks at certain times or places when he goes down on me. My point is that even as a woman I can't and neither can anyone else tell you a one fits all thing when it comes to sex.
If you were using this post as a guide for a person who never had sex then I say it's a good start. Try those things. But be open to the fact that you might get a better response trying different things as well. Letting a woman feel comfortable enough to tell you or guide you is the most important thing in my opinion.
That doesn't mean you can say to every woman "Hey tell me what you want or like." I can tell you from experience that many times we can't tell you specifics. An example is something that Kam does . I know it feels really great when he does it but I couldn't exactly see what he is doing.(I was busy at that moment) I finally said "do that again and keep doing it". He asked "what?" . I said "what ever the hell you just did. I think it was your tongue". With a little playing I found out it wasn't his tongue at all it was his lips.It can be very difficult to explain what you feel sometimes or to even know how to explain it.I laughed when the woman that wrote the post I mentioned had said the guy asked "What do you like? What do you want me to do to you?" She said in her head all she could think of was "go down on me and don't stop." But she couldn't say that and even if she did she couldn't give him directions step by step which is why she was writing it now.This woman also said she didn't care if they ever fucked. Trust me I care!
Consider us snowflakes. We might all be made of the same thing, but no two are exactly alike.
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| February 2, 2012, 06:50 |
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BigDaddyJ
33 / male
Springfield, Massachusetts, US
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Re: 8 tricks to make her relax and help her climax: A public Service
I completely agree all women and unique flowers. Each with there own mysterious and wonders to be discovered. I make it a point to point this out at the end of my post. The hope behind this post is that people may stop and think for a few moments about how to best please the lover (male) and what it is you do and do not like (female) Like yourself newbie when you read the post you may have said, "I don't like that" i would hope it was followed with "but if someone does that..." or perhaps someone else is tantalize and you lucky enough to able to go, "hey honey look at this..."In short my hope was to get people thinking about what i feal is a very important subject. How to make more women cum more often and harder
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| February 2, 2012, 08:19 |
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newbie1011
50 / female
The Shore, New Jersey, US
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Re: 8 tricks to make her relax and help her climax: A public Service
As I had said regarding this post and in your other posts that were in the same spirit. I appreciate and applaud you bringing the subject up and offering your opinions on how to do these things. I just want people to stay open mined and realize its not an absolute "how to".
As almost anyone that has had more than one partner or one sexual experience can tell you it can be very different every time, even with the same person. I know I can be in the mood for a love making session that is slow and sensual one day to a Just fuck me now session the next day.If you want a great sex life you have to be comfortable with yourself,as well as your partner. You should feel like you can always be yourself and be able to tell(or show) your partner how you feel.Long term partners are much happier when they don't get board.Don't get me wrong there are some people in the world that might enjoy the straight missionary fuck and that's it for their whole life. (I just don't know of any personally)But it really isn't about the position or if you're swinging from the chandelier its about the connection you make.Personally I get so turned on when I discover something new that gets my partner excited and I can tell you I have looked at Kams face enough times when he has made me cum or just did something new that turned me on and I know he loves it, its in his eyes.
I also had to tell you I laughed when I saw the statement about the average women takes 15 to 40 minutes to orgasm. I am so going to look that up! I have never taken that long to cum in my life. I have never been with a women so I couldn't tell you how long it takes other women.
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| February 2, 2012, 09:05 |
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newbie1011
50 / female
The Shore, New Jersey, US
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Re: 8 tricks to make her relax and help her climax: A public Service
I had to look it up(the how long does it take for women to cum thing). In the Mens Health article you quoted it did say 15 to 40 minutes but the Brown university study said 10-20 minutes.
I guess every study will vary depending on many variables. That's the thing about these studies and articles they are all opinions based on a lot of factors which is why I rarely take the results to seriously.
I can find a study that fits every opinion.lol
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| February 2, 2012, 09:31 |
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BigDaddyJ
33 / male
Springfield, Massachusetts, US
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Re: 8 tricks to make her relax and help her climax: A public Service
i think that estimate really depends when you start counting lol. i have had a few sexual experience where my lover orgasmed long before i ever actually touched her most sensitive of sensitive of areas. I seem to remember an early post from you tell us all about how you climaxed just from having your breast played with. (A feat Kam that I am still trying to replicate would be a great PSA)
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| February 2, 2012, 09:32 |
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newbie1011
50 / female
The Shore, New Jersey, US
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Re: 8 tricks to make her relax and help her climax: A public Service
LOL Yes that is very true.I would love to ask who times these women and when did you start the clock.
As for making me cum by playing with my breasts.No one was more shocked than me but as I have explained many times it isn't the where you touch someone that is the only thing that gets someone to cum. I know for me as well as every woman I have ever asked it has much to do with whats going on in our head as well. Kam is very very good at getting into my head.
He knows what to say and when. He had done things that at the time made me mad and frustrated . Only to realize that at the end It was definitely for my benefit.Like the first time he got up for work without as much as a kiss goodbye. He did a great job of planting little seeds though that morning with words. Then came home for lunch and still didn't touch me.I was so pissed I cleaned the whole apartment because I just needed to do something before I punched a wall. When he came home from work he made up for not touching me all day.Although now he also knows a way to get me to clean the apartment.lol Sometimes he will kind of tease me all day. By the time I get to touch him I am already so worked up I think I would explode if he looked at me. He also changes things so drastically that I never know what to expect.He knows I like certain things like having him stoke his cock while I watch. (OK most times he starts but I get impatient and want to get in on it.)Anyway he woke me up by standing over me stroking and gently woke me. He sometimes has some toy there to make sure I wake up smiling but still can't touch him right away.Or my favorite is when he wakes me by going down on me.No way can you be in a bad mood when someone wakes you like that.Kam is like the Lon Chaney Jr. of sex. You never know what you will get the next time you see him. * For those who are to young to know who that is google him.lol He handles sex the way he cooks. There is never an exact recipe but it always turns out great for some reason because he knows what ingredients go well together and don't expect the same thing exactly the same twice unless you it happens by accident.
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| February 2, 2012, 10:59 |
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freensleazy
52 / male
Buffalo, New York, US
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Re: Re: 8 tricks to make her relax and help her climax: A public Service
QUOTE (newbie1011 @ February 2, 2012, 09:31)I had to look it up(the how long does it take for women to cum thing). In the Mens Health article you quoted it did say 15 to 40 minutes but the Brown university study said 10-20 minutes.
I guess every study will vary depending on many variables. That's the thing about these studies and articles they are all opinions based on a lot of factors which is why I rarely take the results to seriously.
I can find a study that fits every opinion.lol
How does one get lucky enough to be hired to conduct these studies? I want to apply for that job.
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| February 2, 2012, 14:03 |
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newbie1011
50 / female
The Shore, New Jersey, US
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Re: 8 tricks to make her relax and help her climax: A public Service
Yeah, and I bet that many of these studies are funded with federal grants.Not a bad gig to have. Mens Health , Cosmo and Dr. Oz do a lot of studies call them maybe they will hook you right up Free. Although I am not sure I want a study done of you. It could be frightening.
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| February 2, 2012, 14:58 |
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freensleazy
52 / male
Buffalo, New York, US
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Re: 8 tricks to make her relax and help her climax: A public Service
To hell with the job, I want a GRANT!
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| February 2, 2012, 15:11 |
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newbie1011
50 / female
The Shore, New Jersey, US
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Re: 8 tricks to make her relax and help her climax: A public Service
Well you have to give them something for the money and if you had to fuck your way through the job I am betting you wouldn't mind the job and the grant money.
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| February 2, 2012, 15:20 |
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wandering5tar
41 / male
London, England, UK
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Re: Re: 8 tricks to make her relax and help her climax: A public Service
QUOTE (newbie1011 @ February 2, 2012, 06:50)I have to say again as I have on your other well intended posts that these are generalizations and speaking as a women I can say some, if not most do not apply to me. I know and hope that everyone knows that we are all different.
I just read a woman's post on "exactly how to go down on a woman". She stated things like "NEVER EVER suck at all it will shut a woman down to a stand still in a second". I personally like when he sucks at certain times or places when he goes down on me. My point is that even as a woman I can't and neither can anyone else tell you a one fits all thing when it comes to sex.
If you were using this post as a guide for a person who never had sex then I say it's a good start. Try those things. But be open to the fact that you might get a better response trying different things as well. Letting a woman feel comfortable enough to tell you or guide you is the most important thing in my opinion.
That doesn't mean you can say to every woman "Hey tell me what you want or like." I can tell you from experience that many times we can't tell you specifics. An example is something that Kam does . I know it feels really great when he does it but I couldn't exactly see what he is doing.(I was busy at that moment) I finally said "do that again and keep doing it". He asked "what?" . I said "what ever the hell you just did. I think it was your tongue". With a little playing I found out it wasn't his tongue at all it was his lips.It can be very difficult to explain what you feel sometimes or to even know how to explain it.I laughed when the woman that wrote the post I mentioned had said the guy asked "What do you like? What do you want me to do to you?" She said in her head all she could think of was "go down on me and don't stop." But she couldn't say that and even if she did she couldn't give him directions step by step which is why she was writing it now.This woman also said she didn't care if they ever fucked. Trust me I care!
Consider us snowflakes. We might all be made of the same thing, but no two are exactly alike.
Fucking hell Newbie - can you respond quicker in future?
I've just had this whole text tattooed on my wife's arse as a ready reference and now you tell me it ain't so???
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| February 2, 2012, 16:57 |
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freensleazy
52 / male
Buffalo, New York, US
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Re: 8 tricks to make her relax and help her climax: A public Service
Wow 5tar, your wife must have a big ass !
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| February 2, 2012, 17:40 |
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wandering5tar
41 / male
London, England, UK
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Re: Re: 8 tricks to make her relax and help her climax: A public Service
QUOTE (freensleazy @ February 2, 2012, 17:40)Wow 5tar, your wife must have a big ass !
Well, I had it done in shorthand - looks just like a Chinese tattoo!
And yes, she does have a big bum!!
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| February 2, 2012, 17:48 |
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newbie1011
50 / female
The Shore, New Jersey, US
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Re: Re: Re: 8 tricks to make her relax and help her climax: A public Service
QUOTE (wandering5tar @ February 2, 2012, 17:48) QUOTE (freensleazy @ February 2, 2012, 17:40)Wow 5tar, your wife must have a big ass !
Well, I had it done in shorthand - looks just like a Chinese tattoo!
And yes, she does have a big bum!!
Well your lucky BigDaddyJ only put the 8 tricks the original article in Mens Health has 10 and an overview. She would need a bigger ass, lol Look it up on their site the article is called "10 Lessons About the Female Orgasm" maybe you can tattoo it in smaller font style. I am actually curious why you left the other two things off when you copied the article BigDaddyJ. Did you not agree with them?
Oh before you go adding the other two lessons you might want to check her feelings on the statements made. I love articles that state things as if they checked with every women on the planet. I guess they missed me somehow.lol
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| February 2, 2012, 18:26 |
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wandering5tar
41 / male
London, England, UK
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Re: Re: Re: Re: 8 tricks to make her relax and help her climax: A public Service
QUOTE (newbie1011 @ February 2, 2012, 18:26) QUOTE (wandering5tar @ February 2, 2012, 17:48) QUOTE (freensleazy @ February 2, 2012, 17:40)Wow 5tar, your wife must have a big ass !
Well, I had it done in shorthand - looks just like a Chinese tattoo!
And yes, she does have a big bum!!
Well your lucky BigDaddyJ only put the 8 tricks the original article in Mens Health has 10 and an overview. She would need a bigger ass, lol Look it up on their site the article is called "10 Lessons About the Female Orgasm" maybe you can tattoo it in smaller font style. I am actually curious why you left the other two things off when you copied the article BigDaddyJ. Did you not agree with them?
Oh before you go adding the other two lessons you might want to check her feelings on the statements made. I love articles that state things as if they checked with every women on the planet. I guess they missed me somehow.lol
Well Newbie, I try my best to be a "Modern Man", but things were a whole lot simpler before the female orgasm had been invented!!
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| February 2, 2012, 19:15 |
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newbie1011
50 / female
The Shore, New Jersey, US
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: 8 tricks to make her relax and help her climax: A public Service
QUOTE (wandering5tar @ February 2, 2012, 19:15) QUOTE (newbie1011 @ February 2, 2012, 18:26) QUOTE (wandering5tar @ February 2, 2012, 17:48) QUOTE (freensleazy @ February 2, 2012, 17:40)Wow 5tar, your wife must have a big ass !
Well, I had it done in shorthand - looks just like a Chinese tattoo!
And yes, she does have a big bum!!
Well your lucky BigDaddyJ only put the 8 tricks the original article in Mens Health has 10 and an overview. She would need a bigger ass, lol Look it up on their site the article is called "10 Lessons About the Female Orgasm" maybe you can tattoo it in smaller font style. I am actually curious why you left the other two things off when you copied the article BigDaddyJ. Did you not agree with them?
Oh before you go adding the other two lessons you might want to check her feelings on the statements made. I love articles that state things as if they checked with every women on the planet. I guess they missed me somehow.lol
Well Newbie, I try my best to be a "Modern Man", but things were a whole lot simpler before the female orgasm had been invented!!
Now that's funny!
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| February 2, 2012, 19:47 |
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BigDaddyJ
33 / male
Springfield, Massachusetts, US
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Re: 8 tricks to make her relax and help her climax: A public Service
I don't remember the exact thought process but i believed I wanted to stick to the better ones and edit the article down a little for the forum... also glad i can help 5 star
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| February 2, 2012, 20:45 |
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wandering5tar
41 / male
London, England, UK
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Re: Re: 8 tricks to make her relax and help her climax: A public Service
QUOTE (BigDaddyJ @ February 2, 2012, 20:45)I don't remember the exact thought process but i believed I wanted to stick to the better ones and edit the article down a little for the forum... also glad i can help 5 star
Thanks Buddy - good to know you're got my back there !
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| February 2, 2012, 21:18 |
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