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Not so famous sayings
State legislators are merely politicians whose darkest secret prevents them from running for a higher office.
- Dennis Miller
Only two things in life are certain, death and that twinkies will out last you.
- Mark Franklin
If crime fighters fight crime, and fire fighters fight fire, then what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that to us, do they?
- George Carlin
If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow, sleep late.
- Henny Youngman
The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever see that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? Not much of a weapon there. Corkscrews, bottle openers. 'Come on, buddy, let's go. You get past me, the guy in back of me, he's got a spoon. Back off. I've got the toe clippers right here.'
- Jerry Seinfeld
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain
We had gay robbers last night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
- Robin Williams
If your lips are extended beyond your nose then you are about to do something rude.
- Scott Adams
Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.
- Oscar Wilde
The clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain
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